In & Out of Shadows

It was early spring when I began this post. I love new beginnings and the fresh crisp feel of new adventures. Some adjustment is required as all of our bodies are waking up to new life. I have been doing a lot of soul searching to arrive at this point.

Redesigning my life, as in a sculpture, what needs to remain is slowly being revealed. I leave behind that which not longer has a place in my life. The road ahead is open and freedom is at my command, though embarking is taking much longer than I had envisioned. All things happen in their own time. I am beginning to achieve clarity. The vision of what I want to create is slowly coming into focus.

I knew all along on some level what direction this was all taking. However what was lacking was belief in myself, belief that this world could support me to do what I love to do. Some doors are closing now, so that new channels may open. I have to do what I love and was designed to do. The message from the universe is clear.

It's about being stuck for a very long time. The longer one is stuck, the more difficult it is to muster the confidence to pull oneself out. It feels like I have hit bottom, the bottom of this vortex I had been sucked into. I am going to move forward and I may need a bit of help.

I have exhausted my resources. I am trying to raise money for my living expenses. If you feel so inclined, please visit my website and make me an offer on one of my available paintings. I am looking for fair market value. Let's talk! I intend to offer healing arts services, such as Reiki.

In my path to revive my music, I played a showcase at The Nickelodeon in Calgary, AB in April. Now I am looking for paid gigs in Calgary, offering piano guitar, vocals, instrumental and am available for weddings, restaurants, lounges, and corporate gigs.

I am working on creating my own business offering web design and social media services. I attended Calgary's first WordCamp this past weekend, which is about Wordpress, the content management system for websites. I intend to base my design services on this amazing software so that clients can update their own website, if they so desire.

In this process I am re-branding myself which will involve integrating all of my talents under one website. Stay tuned for the launch of my new website.

Hello all. I am excited that I am finally releasing a recording done some time ago. This song was five years in the writing, one day it finally popped out, my personal favourite. Inspired my my days of being down and out many years ago, I emerged from the lower East side of Vancouver to create a new life. Soon this will be made available for download.

Credits:
Deborah Robinson; Composer, keyboards, vocals | Pat Braden; Stand-up Bass | James Milligan; Saxaphone | Norm Glowach; Drums | Producer; Pat Braden

Happy Solstice~Merry Christmas~Happy Holidays and welcome to the age of Aquarius. Who ever thought we would have made it this far?

We have had a a lot of icy fog and hoar frost this year and it is beautiful. Occasionally the sun breaks through.

And though I would like to be out taking more pictures, however other things have taken priority.

At the moment it seems I am going from deadline to deadline, pacing myself and somehow it all gets done. Everything I need comes to me, miraculously.

I am getting bits and pieces of time in the studio in an attempt to finish some work. This is one of several oils I did late this summer, all 12 X 16. They are almost dry, still a bit wet in the darker areas.

A couple of weeks ago, I auditioned for a band and the experience was great. I felt good about the energy I took there, and was relaxed and calm. Feeling good about being in my element though it had been a long time and an opportunity to perform. It did not turn out to be the right situation but it feels like a bridge. A couple more situations are just on the horizon.

Currently I am writing new music, on piano mostly. My goal is to create an album, a CD, and once I have done that I will find a way to record it.

So I am carrying my notebook with me everywhere, as I always did before. The music is coming quicker than the lyrics. That has not always been the case. Creative thoughts must incubate before we can birth them. Much growth has been taking place under the surface.

I am spending this time to set intentions for the New Year, and to prioritize. Included in the repertoire will be lots of art, music, web design and writing. I am re-branding myself to integrate all that I do, and am determined that will provide me a way to sustain myself. In the meantime, let's set an intention to make 2013 the best year ever!

Well I did it! I surpassed 50,000 words, with a few hours to spare. This year, things went much slower for me, but then I had a couple of big pushes that drove me over the finish line.

It is a great feeling to achieve the required word count, despite the fact that the book itself is not finished. Of course this is just the first draft. I really feel this one is worth completing. I am going to reserve January for the rewrite, and I will pick away at finishing the first draft until then.

The novel is entitled ESOTERICA and the genre is magical realism. Oh and I even designed a cover this year for fun.

Here's a short synopsis:

Story of woman artist, a sculptress, set in New York in the early twentieth century, whose family immigrated to the USA during the Mexican Revolution. Malinali Gohl was a trail blazer in the New York art world.

Malinali perseveres against all odds in a sea of tension and opposites, creating alliances that propel her into new worlds and uncover creations that will survive the test of time. In order to do so, Malinali must overcome ancestral patterns, illusion, discovering her inner visions and holding them steadfastly, while purifying her heart to make way for inspiration.

A journey of: Intuition - Illumination - Inspiration – The Angel of the Presence, which guides her addresses and supplies the solution to glamour, unveiling the authentic and uncovering the truth.

One deadline down, I can now move on to my next set of commitments, including two showings of art during the month of December. And there are parties coming up too! If you are at Waves Coffee- Springbank, be sure to take a look at my art which will be on display & for sale during the month of December, beginning Sunday, December 2, 2012. The address is 160- 30 Springborough Blvd S.W

Come and see me at Calgary's newest craft fair, in Bridgeland on December 8, 2012, where I will have an assortment of smaller to medium sized works and artist made gifts for sale. Click the link for details and map to the Bridgeland Riverside Community Association. 917 Center Avenue NE, Calgary, AB. Hope to see you there!

N A N O W R I M O is happening for me again this year. It's novel writing month, and I will attempt to write 50,000 words in the month of November. You can view my progress in the sidebar. Last year I met my goal and I found it truly stimulates all areas of my life.

I only decided two days ago, and I am going to let my intuition lead the way. I have done very little planning, if any, so I am going to have to channel this thing.

Staying focused on my creative work, while shopping for inspiration, I have actually started to paint in oils. The one below is the first one I did. I am infatuated with the sensuality of the paint and have done a number of small works, mostly landscapes and flowers for a show at Waves Cafe in Springborough in December.

Leighton View
12 X 16
Oil/Canvas

I will also be selling at an artisan fair on December 8, at the Bridgeland Community Centre through What the Craft. A new series of energy paintings which I have designed is a collaboration of art, gemstones and Reiki and will be included in the show & sale.

Great holiday gifts, even if you decide to shop for yourself, as I am making some smaller pieces. I plan to have some art cards available too. Working on a mixed media abstract with lots of texture, gold and silver leaf. Experimenting and stepping out on a limb is a great way to bring in new energy.

I am writing more original music. Once I can demystify this recording challenge, I will have something for you to hear. Enjoying GoGirlsMusic, a networking group for women in music, which I have joined. We have a Thursday night Twitter chat and I have met some amazing women musicians. I was out jamming some blues last weekend. Getting my musician back on and who knows, maybe some gigs are just around the corner.

"Petals, Birds & Branches"
Exhibit & Sale

The Central Library

Downtown 616 Macleod Trail SE
Calgary, AB T2G 2M2

Until September 25 you can see an exhibit of my art at the The Calgary Public Library downtown. The art is available for purchase.

The mighty Bow River is high and wide, swollen to it's maximum, breaching the banks in some areas. We have had heavy rains, and the large mountain snow-pack is still melting. I was in Canmore recently, and some of the paths we walked on have been closed due to flooding.

I started this blog post many times, and was unable to complete it until now. This is primarily due to a challenge in what Maslow's hierarchy of needs refers to as satisfying lower level basic needs before progressing on to meet higher level growth. I have proven progress is often disrupted by failure to meet lower level needs. Oh to become fully self-actualized. My Master Level Reiki training will have to wait until I can stabilize my income.

I am still undergoing major life transition. Despite the amount of chaos going on, I have decided my current position is advantageous. It is like the perfect storm for creativity. It is exciting to see what will happen next. My whole life has been a bit like this, but this feels bigger than what I have gone through before.

Still, I try to tie the invisible threads together to understand what is really developing here. I have a sense that I am on the right path, but not a clear picture of how things will transpire. One of the barriers may be that I think I need to know how to get where I am going. All that is really required is vision and desire. It is slowly formulating, like a pressure cooker builds up steam. I have discerned the precise details of how, are most likely not up to me.

The centennial of the Stampede was bigger than ever and has come and gone. A celebration of western heritage, it is a tradition here. Attendance records were broken. I painted another set of Stampede windows. Most stampede windows are very cartoon like, but I try to add a little something different in mine. I love the closeup of this horse. Too bad it's not permanent.

Window painting is fun, though challenging to paint on glass and it also fills in the gaps financially. What I would really like to find is a mural job. Also, I am looking for someone to collaborate with musically. I did perform at a wedding, and just last weekend at a party. Both were well received, and now I will go to some jams and open stages to connect with others. I have been using positive affirmations and so I am saying, "The perfect job finds me." I am intent on following my heart, and trusting the process to set me on the correct path.

My birthday was amazing and all because of a random drive I took. Slightly lost on the range road I spotted a pond full of swans. What fantastic luck!

The first thing that came to mind was the symbolism, particularly in alchemy, where the white swan is the beginning etheric light-filled phase. No doubt in my mind, that coming upon this sight was no accident. Thank you fellow bloggers for sending all your birthday wishes!

By now I could have sworn I would have a full time job. Not so. I just have not figured it out yet. I know for certain age is playing a factor. The general mindset needs to change out there, because I am certainly not ready for the pasture!

And so I am seeking any kind of work, small jobs, big jobs, and of course mural work in Calgary and surrounding areas. I am submitting a proposal for painting on the traffic control boxes. The City of Calgary is hiring artists to paint them. Wish me luck! My Reiki Level III training has been postponed due to my budget, and I do hope I will be able to attend in June.

The business part of art is very time consuming, research, writing proposals, updating the portfolio, and sometimes it can feel like there is no time left over to paint. In trying to establish myself as a professional artist, there is much to be done.

I cannot say looking to the art galleries is the answer anymore at least as a mainstay. So I am thrilled to announce, I have signed with an art consultant. AdoptanArtist is a joint venture, between local artists and businesses and it does not cost the business anything. A self representing artist needs support as it is too big a task to manage without being part of a larger group. So if you are a business in Calgary who has room to hang some original art in your offices, please contact AdoptanArtist. It won't cost you anything, and you can support local artists.

The buds are bursting and our weather is super warm for this time of year. The late spring snows have greened things up. I have been thinking about doing more sketching. At one time, I did it a lot, and also did some pen and ink.

Will I find time to keep a sketchbook journal this summer? Join an outdoor group that does group hikes? Perhaps a Plein Air outdoor painting group would be fun too, or I may just go out on my own. I am getting out a bit more to network with people who have the same interests. I would love to collaborate on some art and music projects, so I am hoping to connect with those people.

2012 is well underway, and I started this blog post in January. Hopefully some of you are still out there, and have not given up on me.

My feeling is that it will be a good year. So much is shifting and changing and I am going with the flow.

I have been striving to check off the unfinished tasks I began the year with. Tasks which I never imagined would have carried on so long. As I complete these, I move forward.

We have had a mild winter so far. A photo excursion to the Leighton Ranch was refreshing,former home of the artists A.C. Leighton, and his wife Barbara.

What a spectacular viewpoint of the mountains from the foothills! The Chinook winds were pounding me, a few pools of snow between trees in sheltered areas was the only evidence of winter.

I completed my Reiki Level One training, and I am slated to do Reiki Level II on the last weekend of March. So far, a permanent job has not shown up for me. I never dreamed I would be out of work so long, thinking my two year stint as Director of the Music Academy would help me to slide into another position easily. However that was not the case, and apparently I have not found my people or where I can add most value yet.

I have been taking this abundance course through the Daily Om. This course employs many Feng Shui cures, and assists one in shifting the energy to make way for new and wonderful things.

I have had time to study and meditate. Some of my time has been spent practicing my music and regaining my confidence as I intend to perform in the near future. I am teaching a couple of students privately. I am working on a painting that I did not finish in time for my last show, two years after the fact. Better late than never.

The river is not frozen over and we are well into December. I am overjoyed with the mild temperatures. Time to celebrate and decompress. If you want to find me on Christmas, I will be in the Rockies, soaking in the mineral springs, and dining in Banff.

As you can see by the meter on the left I finished NaNoWriMo a day early. I am planning to finish the book in January. This month has been busy, as I had a one month contract to take me through until the holidays. In one week I managed to manifest that, plus another car, and another interview. Still looking for work to start in January.

I have rented a keyboard, and hope to record some music for you soon. Have piano will travel. I have one gig booked for June and hope to find more. If you are looking for some blues-jazz for your function, please contact me.

The days are shorter now, and I find myself stumbling around in the dark quite a bit. The days will now begin to lengthen. Best wishes to all for the holidays and the coming year! I will leave you with one of my favourite Christmas songs.